WATER
[By Mylong Hand]
April 1, 2022 JOKE
Sacramento, CA – The State Bureau of Water Resources disclosed today that all lakes and surface water facilities supplying public drinking water facilities contain elevated levels of the chemical Di-Hydrogen Monoxide. If inhaled, even in small amounts, Di-Hydrogen Monoxide can prove fatal in humans. Evidence of the contamination was obtained via a Public Records Act Request by attorneys on behalf of Save The Skeet Foundation during their research into the declining life span of that elusive pigeon. According to Bea Eurocrat, the Assistant Administrative Aide to the Deputy Director of Policy Research, “the State has known about the Di-Hydrogen Monoxide contamination for decades and has spent years of increasing budget allocations studying the problem in order to affect a workable solution to this complex issue”.
The State originally became aware of the Di-Hydrogen Monoxide contamination problem during the first Jerry Brown administration after research findings by Dr. Youse bin Hade showed Di-Hydrogen Monoxide was present in the State water supply and recommended the State establish standards for permissible levels of that potentially lethal chemical in water. Bin Hade’s study further observed that rainfall effected Di-Hydrogen Monoxide contamination levels with the highest levels observed during flood years and the lowest during drought years. Scientists have long warned that breathing Di-Hydrogen Monoxide can prove fatal. In order to protect Californians from potential inhalation risks, Assemblymember Mo Neywaster (D 81) has introduced AB 5150 to create a superfund to finally clean-up this contamination. The Bill is set for hearing in the Senate Environmental Justice Committee on April 31.
Happy April Fool’s Day, Cris.
About Post Author
As a certified Water Treatment Operations professional, I am deeply concerned about the di- hydrogen monoxide contamination issue. I’m sure that our Governor will go to any depths required to address this important public health issue. I just hope that like his Corona French laundry dinner scandel,, he doesn’t turn out to be all wet on this vital matter.